Dealing With Difficult People

We meet different people in life, and some of these people tend to make our life difficult. We might meet them at work, in classes or they could be our friends and family. We are not going to escape these difficult people, they are a part of our life. The only thing we can do is to learn how to live with them. Accepting that difficult people are a part of our life will be the first step in learning to live with them. Most of the time, it's not the person who is difficult, it's just that, they make life difficult. Usually each of these people who we label as difficult has their own story as to why they are like that. Mostly they are unaware that they are difficult to work with or to associate.  

Before we go into a discussion of this topic, I want you to do one exercise. Try to think of a person who has been making your life difficult, now take a piece of paper and divide it into two, write good in one corner and bad in the other corner. First start writing all the good things about this person. You are now trying to see the good side of a person who you have labeled as bad or difficult. Suddenly you will remember the first good thing that, that person has done to you, then slowly you will start to remember all the good. Once you feel that you have written down all the good, move to the bad side. Now when you start to write the bad side you will realize that there are only one or two bad things about this person. All this time we have evaluated this person using these two bad things, and this has made our life difficult. 

What we focus on grows. If our focus is more towards seeing the person as difficult, then the difficulty grows along with the impact the person has in our life. We need to remember that this person is always bigger than one or two aspects which makes them difficult. See if you could see the other part of that person. The part which is good and beautiful. Each one of us has these two parts, one which is bad and one which is good. Doing the above exercise will help you to understand things better and see good in people. 

Why we feel that someone is difficult to deal with is because we let that person take control of our emotions. Our happiness is our responsibility. When we allow external factors to affect our emotions, things start to become difficult. The biggest mistake we do is taking things personally. What's the point of getting angry at someone who is not going to get upset? When we are angry or upset, we emit negative energy into the atmosphere and that energy can attract the same kind of negative energy to our life. Without even noticing we might have attracted a difficult situation or a difficult person to our life. 

We keep reflecting on bad memories, memories of our past which have made our life difficult. Imagine if someone called you stupid. You got upset about this and you tell another person that this person called you stupid and you keep on telling people that this person called you stupid. Each time you reflect on this, you are allowing that person to call you stupid. Being called stupid once is enough, reflecting on that memory is unnecessary. Control reflecting on bad memories and let those memories go. 

When your working, you might find your manager or supervisor trying to micromanage you. If you're a person with some responsibility you might find this act irritating. Taking a step back would make you realize that your manager or your supervisor doesn't have any intention of micromanaging you, but they might want a report in a certain format or a certain quality. They might think that they are helping, but you might feel that they are trying to micromanage. The mistake we do is that we never communicate. Due to the difficulty we face when associating this person, we start to dislike them. When this happens we tend to ignore that person and cut all communications. Things get out of hand when the communication stops. Communicating your problem is the key to solving the problem and none of us should be ashamed to communicate when we feel that our life is starting to get difficult. 

Having compassion will help you in many ways. The way you treat others is the way you treat yourself. Looking from this angle will help you realize that the difficult people around you treat themselves the same way they treat you. Their pain is far greater than the pain they give you. Having compassion and kindness towards them will help you to change them. Keep Smiling at the person who always frowns, keeps saying Good Morning to the person who never says it back. Practice compassion, it will make your life less difficult and beautiful. 

None of us can get away from difficult people, but we always can arrange our life in a way where difficult people don't have a say. 

#peacelovehappiness 

Reference :- https://youtu.be/zSQI1e8D3Qo