Meditation and What Comes After

My meditation journey started six years ago. Back then I meditated on and off without any guidance. Looking at some of the Meditation videos on YouTube, I would sit in one place, close my eyes, and try to focus on my breath. About two minutes into the meditation, the first thought pops up. It would be something related to work or home. Now they say in meditation when you get a thought to acknowledge it, leave it aside and again focus on your breath. Well this never happened those days. Most of us haven't developed our minds to be that calm. Leaving aside my focus on the breath, I would wander in my imagination. This is when Meditation becomes daydreaming. 

Ten minutes out and I start to realize that I am daydreaming. I fix myself again and start focusing on my breath. Five minutes go by and I feel my head nodding backward. I have fallen asleep. This continues for months. At some point I gave up and stopped. 

Years went by and 2020 came. I thought I'll start my meditation journey again. I started meditating somewhere around February. Going back four years. I have never had proper sleep for the past couple of years. Sleep didn't come to me easily. I would go on for three or four days without any sleep at all. Sometimes I would take medication. I never realized that meditation helped me sleep, therefore I didn't try.  

Coming back to 2020, I started following a guru, listing to his teachings, trying to practice some. I did it to help myself, help myself mentally and emotionally and it did. There was this book I saw online which was written by him, I ordered the book and started reading it. I read that book with so much passion it made me cry at some points. I thought I was getting into some sort of state, later I found out the book made me cry because I was overwhelmed with emotions. Who would come to some state just by reading one book? I sometimes laugh at myself when I think of it. Then again that book gave me a lot of things to think about. Below is an extraction from the book which I truly felt. Before going into the extraction, I must say that my Guru is a Yogi and not a Monk. Now to the extraction. 

" Most people are not aware of the nature of their longing. When their longing finds unconscious expression, we call it greed, conquest, ambition. When their longing finds conscious expression, we call it yoga. If you still believe that everything will be okay the moment you find a new girlfriend or a boyfriend, get a raise, buy a new house, or a car, then it is not yet time for yoga. Once you've tried all those things and more, and know that none of it ever be enough - then you are ready for yoga" 

Apart from the above awesome life lesson, this book taught me how to meditate and what real meditation is. What we do most of the time is, we sit in one place, close our eyes and focus on our breath. What if we focus on our breath while walking, and while having our meals or even while trying to fall asleep. Isn't that also meditation. Why do all these Gurus tell us to focus on our breath? Focusing on our breath helps us to stay in the present moment without regretting the past and being anxious about the future. It gives a sense of calmness to our mind which will continue even after we stop focusing on our breath. When we walk outside, if we can look at all the threes and think these trees are exhaling what we are inhaling and they are inhaling what we are exhaling, we would connect to all living things in a more meaningful way. 

Fascinated by these teachings, I started meditating. On the first day of following my Gurus meditation, I was able to meditate for over 30 minutes. That night, I had the best sleep after seven years. Starting from that day I never stopped meditating and I never had a day where I couldn't sleep properly. 

Another unique experience I had while meditating was feeling my energy. A lot of people talk about the energy around us and the energy within us, but I am not sure if they know how the energy around us and within us feels. When I felt my energy first, I got scared. I thought something might happen to me because I couldn't feel my body. I could only feel my head. I opened my eyes to see if everything was ok. That was the first time I felt how focused my mind was. I was staring at the wall, eyes open, and fully focused on my breath without feeling my body. There was just a vibration around me. It was as if I was high on some drug. Our body is just a vessel where we carry around energy. This amount of focus won't last long. Especially on us laymen, who has along way to go to master our mind. For me it only lasted for one minute and it was not consistent. Some days I would feel it and some days I would just wander around in my mind, but I never stopped meditating. 

I started meditating because  I wanted to sleep better but meditation reduced my stress level, it helped me to think things clearly and not act out of anger. It also helped me to be disciplined. It helped me to let go of things faster. When my mood went all bad, it helped me to revert to my original state of mind. I started to love without expectation, show compassion and kindness, and also to connect to all living things positively. It made me evolve so much that some people had to get to know me all over again. 

If you are meditating and you feel nothing is happening, don't ever stop. It's like having your meals. When you miss a meal you will feel hungry. You will feel the benefit of meditation only when you stop meditating. Don't ever stop. For those who haven't done meditation, try it. Just for 2 minutes. Don't wait till your retired or your in your old age. You will anyway fall asleep if you wait that long to try meditation. 

When you start to live your life in a meditative state, you will become silent, you will become still and you will have an unlimited amount of space. This will lead you to a happy life. 

#peacelovehappiness

Referance  : Inner Engineering ( A Yogi's guide to joy) by Sadhguru