Patterns in Life

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Breaking out of recurring patterns
We all follow a pattern in life. Most of the things we do has a pattern and it keeps repeating itself. The friends we have, the relationships we get into, our education, our jobs, and the people we associate comes according to a pattern which we have followed throughout our lives. 

When I talk about friends who has walked in and out of my life, I have realized that most of them came because I was useful to them in some ways. They might not have realized it then and even now they might not know. When the need was fulfilled, they automatically leave. I do not say it’s their fault, they didn't even know, but somewhere along the way I must have had a sign that these people are actually using me, and I must have totally ignored that sign. Therefor I would say it is my fault. These types of people follow a pattern. They could be strangers at first, then you get to talking and become friendly. Then you start opening to them, your become all emotional with them, buy them food, find them jobs, help then with their housework, visit them often and help them when every they need. You make yourself available for them all the time. Then suddenly, calls go unanswered, no reply to texts and then they slowly fade away from your life. This happens to all of us, you might not be able to prevent it from happening, but if your conscious of your situation you would realize these patterns and avoid them. 

Then comes the relationships, well, that is a different ball game all together. I have properly dated 3 men in my life. Out of these three I have loved one and I did love another, but it was one sided and I was not dating him. I am still single though, trying to find what this love is. I have a habit of getting attracted to men who are emotionally unavailable, unstable, unloving, or arrogant. This has always been the case, and whenever a person who loves me comes along, I panic, I do not know how to handle that. All my life I have been in relationships which are damaging, and I guess I never healed properly. This is also my fault, there were all these signs and I went ahead and ignored everything. Girls and Boys both, listen: -
  • When there are more tears than smiles, leave
  • When there are more fights than jokes, leave
  • When it hurt more than it feels good, leave
They do not have the right to destroy you just because you love them and loving them does not mean you have to stay. See the signs, notice the pattern you have been following in relationships and if your feel its harmful for you, remember that you and only you have the power to change it. 

The energy of the people around you is very important, they say " you become what you associate" and this is very much true. I have only met few people who projected positive energy. When you think back to all the things which has happened to you, you might realize that all that happened when your surrounded with toxic relationships. 

I am talking about pattern we follow in our life, and I know I might also be in some of the patterns in your life. I might think that I am good and full of positive energy but in some ones story I am the bad person and the toxic relationship. They say, "you are not who you think you are, you are not who they think you are, you are who you think that they think you are". It is also important to analyze how you make other people feel, their reaction to you could be something which you have said, or a way you have acted in a certain situation. There is no harm in correcting yourself if you feel that the reason is you. 

It is always better if you can identify a pattern and look for a way to change it if it is harmful for you. You always must make a trip to you past to identify a pattern. Your past can give you a lot of answers you need. Most of them say forget the past, but for me, we were made from the past and you cannot let go of it just like that. If you had a recent breakup think back and see, has this happened before? why is this happening, and can I change this? If your friend left you without notice, look at all the friendships you had and see if it is a pattern returning and if so, can you change it? Are you unhappy with your job? have you always been unhappy with the jobs you do? What sort of job will make you happy and can you get to that level? These are the questions you could ask yourself every day when you feel something is wrong in your life. It is your life and you are responsible and accountable for it.


It is not important the number of mistakes or the wrong turns you have taken, what is important is realizing those wrong turns and mistakes and taking actions to change it. Breaking that pattern is in your hands, it has always been in your hands. Courage is what you need to break that pattern, and I know you have it all in you. 


 #peacelovehappines 









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